...things are hard right now. Not hard physically speaking - we both have jobs, we are healthy, we are being provided for. Things are hard emotionally, spiritually. I feel pretty far from God in this place where my only confidante is Seth...well, and Bou too. I talk to God pretty regularly, but still haven't seen my current prayers answered, which sometimes makes me wonder if He hears me in the first place. I mean, I know he does, but I guess sometimes I'm more like Thomas than I liked to be. I need to see it to believe it. To put my hands in His wounds to know that He is real. Sometimes I wonder if God brought us out to Wisconsin to experience a season of just us and Him. But His plan isn't working so far because I don't know where He is.
But then today in church we sang a song called "Everything" by Tim Hughes. I've heard it before, but it really sank in today because I truly do want Jesus to be my everything. And even moreso, I'm finally beginning to grasp the fact that He is IN me. He's with me all of the time because He resides IN me. He won't ever leave me or forsake me because He is a part of me.
Jesus said, "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." John 15:4-8
Jesus is already living in me, asking me to remain in Him as well.
